You Made Your Bed...

There are many milestones in a second relationship, that bring the two people involved ever closer.  First would be a weekend away, which as you know M and I survived, as opposed to the hotel bathroom which pretty much didn't.  (See post "STAY OFF THE SAUCE")  Then comes the introduction of the children to the new love interest.  Some of you may remember that in our case, that took place on a street corner in downtown St. Pete, where M and I went to retrieve my son from some very understanding policemen. (See post "MOMMY'S NIGHT OUT")  NONE of us understood why someone would light an illegal substance at an INDOOR concert, but whatever.  The meeting was pleasant enough.

If all of that goes well, the next step may be moving in together.  Sometimes this can lead to disagreements if, say, one person is wonderfully bright and creative and likes parrot murals in the bathroom and the other person has no vision and likes a very dull monochromatic look which he INSISTS is contemporary but I think is depressing and makes me feel like I should be filling out HIPA forms at a doctor's office.  Perhaps in this case the couple will compromise and have a big framed picture of a parrot over a ceramic cube the color of mud.  Perhaps.  I am still debating.

In any case, once the dust has settled and everyone is in place, you begin to make purchases together.   Our first big one was a mattress. On a Saturday morning in early April, we set out on a quest for the perfect mattress where we would rest our weary heads for years to come, not to mention watch hours of reality TV, play Candy Crush on our Ipad and write blogs while drinking coffee.  I for one, can multi task while reclining.

We enter the Beds R Us store, and I immediately head for a mattress with a smooshy, squishy pillow top, a layer of clouds.  I pictured myself diving into it, and losing myself to blissful hours of sleep.  But wait...M is heading to a BRICK on the other side of the store.  We are miles apart when Doug our salesmen appears.   He begins to fire off questions to us:
"Do you sleep on your side, back or stomach?"
"Side" "Back" we reply simultaneously.
"He snores," I add.
"Do you like a firm mattress or something softer?"
"I like firm but not too firm, but not too soft either" M answers.
That totally narrows it down.
Doug directs us to something he says is in the middle.  He instructs me to lie down on it.  As I lie there contemplating the ceiling tiles, Doug says to M, "You see that she is leaving huge indentations?"
"Yes I see that" answers M.
"That's gonna be a problem long term, I can tell ya," Doug informs him.
What I believe Doug is trying to say is, "Dude.  She's only going to get bigger."

Based on the results of that test, M and I purchased a mattress that I believe an Army tank could roll across.  However, I believe it's not the mattress that fills your life with peace,  letting sleep come easily but the person lying beside you, on it.  Not to mention,  my new parrot bed spread is going to look AWESOME.


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  1. OMG I laughed so hard! The parrot theme vs the dr. office! I had the same issue. Glad to see that you agreed on a mattress. Hope all is well & looking forward to your next adventure :)
    Miss M


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