Friday, April 27, 2012

She NAILED Me


Is there anything better for a woman's self confidence then sitting down across from a nail technician, having her look across the table from you and say "Oooooh, Laaaaady,  you want lip wax today?"
I am ready to take on the world!



Ex-Wife New Life: living life newly single at 50 while overcoming the pain of divorce and moving on. Visit us @ http://facebook.com/ex.wife.new.life OR participate @ http://forum.exwifenewlife.com

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Mammary Lane



                                  Made it through another one!

Ex-Wife New Life: living life newly single at 50 while overcoming the pain of divorce and moving on. Visit us @ http://facebook.com/ex.wife.new.life OR participate @ http://forum.exwifenewlife.com

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Eternity Shmeternity

My wedding ring is a newer, bigger, way more obnoxious version of my original, although it does have some history.   For many years, my grandparents owned a jewelery store in a small town in New York.  When they retired, they went from displaying their jewels in glass cases to wrapping them in wads of toilet paper and hiding them in various places in their apartment.  You could sometimes sit on Grandma Evie's maroon lazy boy and look down to find a TP covered diamond brooch poking you in a very unseemly place.

 When we got engaged my ex bought my first ring from my grandma.  I believe she had that one stashed between two wash cloths in the linen closet.  It was a gold band with a tiny diamond.  I still have it.  Ten years later he bought a bigger one from my mother, who was now in charge of the stash. She had upgraded the system from hidden toilet paper bundles, to a built in hidden safe, and don't ask me where it is because I can't tell you.   Is it just us Jewish people or does everyone believe that the Orkin man was put on this Earth mainly to steal our jewelry?

The new ring, consisted of the old diamond surrounded by an eternity band of little diamonds.  Let's just clarify that in this case, eternity means forever OR until someone with better hair and bigger boobs comes along, whichever comes first.  In my case, of course, the latter proved true.

Now, I happen to know that  this ring  was purchased way after Giselle was.  Little did I know it was really more of an "FYI,  I have decided to date other people" ring,  than an "I love you so much, thank you for these beautiful children, and how do you stay so pretty and skinny" ring.  My mistake.

So here it is April 13th,  I am looking at this ring, and then I am looking at this tax bill and I am thinking..hmmm,  I think I hear Grandma Evie telling me to go the the International Diamond Source in Clearwater and sell the ring so that I can pay my taxes and stay out of prison for another year.  Yes she is definitely coming through loud and clear, "Go mamala go."

 Grandma Evie used to put on a back brace, pin the toilet paper bundles to it and then, wear like three shirts, when she had to travel with her jewelry.  I felt safe throwing the ring into the change section of my wallet and heading down US 19.

I enter the Source For all That is Diamonds, or whatever, after being buzzed in through three doors.  Um excuse me, do you not see you are on Roosevelt Blvd between the Taco Bell and McDonalds?  Who are you trying to kid? But I play along.  I put on my saddest "I need to sell something but I am not white trash" face and a young girl points me to a desk.

There a lovely gentleman named Greg greets me.  His white beard and wire framed glasses have a calming effect on me.  He speaks in soft tones as he holds the ring in his fingers and puts it beneath a magnifying loop.  "Have you gotten other estimates?" he inquires in his kindly baritone.  "Some," I reply in my attempt to sound knowledgeable.  "I know it is very a very emotional experience to sell a ring like this," he said and that's when it happened.  I began to cry.

Looking at that ring, resting on a velvet tray, brought emotions right up to the base of my throat.  Some of the sadness was for my now RIP marriage, the kids, the baseball games, the nightly homework, the day to day being that we shared as a couple and then as a family.

Greg told me that the diamond was very flawed, as it had been cut in the 1800's. It would need to be shaved and re-cut to fit into a modern setting.   I figured that diamond had probably come into Grandma Evie's possession sometime in the 60's, right around the same time I entered her life.  Now look at the two of us, both flawed and needing re-cutting in order to forge ahead.

When Greg told me that the eternity diamond part of the ring was basically useless and would be cut away from the old, flawed diamond, that's when I knew it was time to let go, eternity was definitely over in this case.  Let this flawed diamond be transformed into a new symbol of love for another couple who may be lucky and get it right.

I stuck the check down into my purse, went through the drive-thru, got two taco supremes (yes two,) and headed home.  I took comfort in the fact that I still had several beautiful pieces of jewelry that Grandma E had given me that I knew I would never part with.  They were safely stashed in plastic baggies in the bottom of my underwear drawer.  Toilet paper is so expensive these days.


Ex-Wife New Life: living life newly single at 50 while overcoming the pain of divorce and moving on. Visit us @ http://facebook.com/ex.wife.new.life OR participate @ http://forum.exwifenewlife.com

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Fun in the Kitchen


                               That's me.  Making magic every day.



Ex-Wife New Life: living life newly single at 50 while overcoming the pain of divorce and moving on. Visit us @ http://facebook.com/ex.wife.new.life OR participate @ http://forum.exwifenewlife.com

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Book Review: "Lost and Found" by Geneen Roth


The book "Lost and Found: One Woman's Story of Losing Her Money and Finding Her Life," caught my attention for a very selfish reason:  "Ah," I thought, "Here is someone worse off then me!"  Geneen and her husband Matt had it all and then in one fell swoop, lost it all to   Bernie Madoff.  Here was a story of how one woman fought her way back financially, much   like divorced woman such as myself, find ourselves having to do.
I found her writing to be very real and conversational.  She shares a lot of Buddhism perspectives which really got me thinking, particularly:  "The sun still shines and you will still drink your coffee and the birds still call in the morning...You can find out that what you came to this planet for is not necessarily your apartment," as I am facing my own crisis having to leave the home that I love and join the other divorcees in condo living.  Okay, so there are worse things.
Roth's story of shopping for eyeglasses in Manhattan will strike a cord with many, I know I see  myself doing the same dance with my yearly mammogram panic and she explains where all that anxiety  comes from.  After years and years and therapy, I found some answers right here in this book. 
On a down note, if you are looking for financial advice on how to get back on your feet after a major set back, look somewhere else.  This book explores your RELATIONSHIP with money and with food. She shares with us, "For as long as I can remember, I treated money the same way I treated food: as if it were stolen."  She continues the comparisons all through the book, to the point where I wanted to say, "Okay, we get it.  You binge eat and you hold
retreats.  Now how do I find financial security?""

If you are looking for inner peace and an answer to why you do the things you do this is the book for you.   If you are looking for answers on how to rebuild your portfolio... stick with Suze Orman.
This is a paid blogher book review, however the opinions expressed are strictly my own. Strictly.

Monday, April 9, 2012

Close the SHADES!


Fifty Shades of Grey, a novel by EL James, has wrapped a gray necktie around our necks and tightened the noose.  Join the rest of the world in reading about Anastasia, a 21 year old college student virgin, (Really?  She lost me already) as she falls in love with the dashing sicko Christian Grey, who's saving graces are that he is rich and and has severe mommy issues. Therefore, we are to forgive him his sadomasochistic ways.  Call me crazy but I don't think it's nice to gag, tie up and whip a young girl, even if your mommy was a crack whore, and I am having some trouble getting past this.

I don't mind the pornographic angle, I mean who doesn't like a little porn now and then?  You know I love the whole fireman thing, "Where's the fire?"  "Right here baby" etc...  Delightful.   But seriously, does Betty Friedan know about this?  Sorry you ladies burned all those bras and we are right back to where you started, being told what do and LOVING IT!  THANK YOU SIR MAY I HAVE ANOTHER!?

All these years of marching for equality, becoming CEO's, and marrying stay at home dads?  We even go to war now.  But hey, sure, you can tie me up and spank me, just promise to buy me something and say you love me.  Master.  Oh and by the way, do the words "domestic violence" ring a bell with anyone?

It's not even the specific acts of of torture/violence that turned me away from this book, (nor the horrendous dialogue) it is the fact that Ana submits to them mainly, to win Grey's love and save him from his troubled mind.  Her sexual pleasure is hardly a factor here.  Not only does she participate in his s and m ways, she also calls him sir, and follows his orders regarding her diet and style choices.  Blech.  Gag me with a spoon.

My latest heroine is Lisbeth Salander from "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo."  Talk about strength, courage and a great fuck you attitude.  I want to meet her, I want to talk to her, I want to BE her.  Ana?  I want to tell her to get into therapy ASAP and stay the hell away from my daughters.

Okay, yes, of course I am jealous of the success of these books.  A trilogy?  While I sit day after day trying to formulate a single  page for my one day to be novel?  And better yet, soon we will get to see these antics played out on the big screen.  The studios couldn't buy the rights fast enough!  This woman is living out MY dream.  I can't seem to get the studios interested in a divorcee who moves to New York and becomes a dog walker to the stars.  Now THAT'S entertainment.   Seriously.  Maybe if she roughs the pups up some, or makes their collars a little too tight?

Anyway, what goes on in people's bedrooms is none of  my business, but I don't mind taking an occasional peek now and then.  For the sake of women everywhere, I hope Christian and Ana keep their shades down.

Please share your thoughts!







Ex-Wife New Life: living life newly single at 50 while overcoming the pain of divorce and moving on. Visit us @ http://facebook.com/ex.wife.new.life OR participate @ http://forum.exwifenewlife.com

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Fashion Flash

                         Fashion Trends 2012 for Women Over 40


                                       
                          Pretty sure I can pull this off....



Ex-Wife New Life: living life newly single at 50 while overcoming the pain of divorce and moving on. Visit us @ http://facebook.com/ex.wife.new.life OR participate @ http://forum.exwifenewlife.com

Monday, April 2, 2012

The True Life Adventures of David, Steve and Gary


Below are three reasons why I decided to take a break from online dating.

First off there was David, (I am using REAL names as they should be ashamed of themselves and also, what are the chances they will read this blog?)  We met at Ocean Prime restaurant which is quite upscale and swank, and I found him at a side table, making his way through a mediocre bottle of cabernet. After the introductions,  he immediately pulled out a photo of his ex who is a hair stylist to local celebs and models, that is, provided they get their hair done at the JC Penney's salon in Westshore Mall.  She is an ungrateful bitch and a gold digger.   She is moving to California.  Who cares.  Who needs her anyway.  Nothing but good to her.  She only takes never gives.  Why is she leaving.  Why.  How can she do this.

I order a martini and inhale the free bowl of popcorn while he wipes tears from his eyes and pours another glass of cab.  Around me are couples cozying up by the outdoor fireplace.  I don't want to cozy up to David.   I suggest he go to his ex immediately and beg her to stay so that I can finish my drink in peace and order a wedge salad. Go west young man.  Go.  Bye now.

Next was Steve.  This one was really fun.  We met at Cheesecake Factory for dessert.  Imagine my delight when I returned from the restroom to find he was no longer at our table.  Then, imagine my humiliation and rage to see him laughing hysterically at another table thinking he played a silly joke on me.  Fucking idiot.

Finally, there was Gary.  I allotted him 30 minutes for coffee at the local Dunkin Donuts.  After gazing at me longingly while describing his at home (aka garage) gym he suggested I may want to meet his mother and sister.  Lucky for me this became possible the next evening when he showed up at a wine tasting event I was attending with my friend, mom and sis in tow.  He invited me to eat dinner with them which I declined as I told him my friend and I had already eaten.  This rubbed him the wrong way when 30 minutes later he walked into Side Berns Restaurant, where I was sitting at the bar eating a cheeseburger the size of a soccer ball.

Okay.   Enough.  I have vodka, flat screen tv and a dog.  I am content.  Ugh, but I have one more date already committed to.  I tell myself this is the last one.  I am taking a six month reprieve from dating and will focus my energy on...um...I don't know, anything else, I'm sure I can come up with something.  Perhaps I will volunteer at my kids' school.

I know, that made me laugh too.

Anyway, stay tuned for part 2 of this story where I meet a man who will be referred to only by his initial.  This could be serious.




Ex-Wife New Life: living life newly single at 50 while overcoming the pain of divorce and moving on. Visit us @ http://facebook.com/ex.wife.new.life OR participate @ http://forum.exwifenewlife.com