Ten Rules Mother Wants You To Live By:
1. Don't be a dick
2. Only stare at one set of boobs at a time. Dude come on, they're JUST boobs.
3. Be nice
4. Do not speak back to policemen-they're not going to call me to come get you anymore. This time you will be sharing a cell with a guy named HOG, who will call you baby.
5. Be a big tipper-that could be me one day.
6. Don't tell girls "I'll call you" when you know you won't.
7. Always say no when a girl asks "Do these pants make me look fat?" Always. Don't be like your dad and say "No, your ass does."
8. Don't take any shit.
9. Don't cause any shit.
10. Don't be a dick.
Beyond this, you're on your own. I love you.
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