Need my "SPACE"

OMG.  Katie Holmes, Tom Cruise.  Didn't see that one coming!  I am totally intrigued with the way the whole thing went down.  She was talking to a lawyer on disposable cell phones?  How cool is that?
Also, I saw on E that she is now living in Manhattan, which is totally awesome, and is taking beautiful Suri to mommy and me groups and stuff.  See?  It's fun being normal.

Obviously, she couldn't just have the normal divorce conversation, "It's me not you,"  "We've grown apart," "I'm seeing someone else,"  because she was scared.   You are not just allowed to "leave" the church, much less take the child of the most famous Scientologist ever, with you.  But I LOVE that she did it.  Let's just hope the Body Snatchers, aka Scientologists, dont snatch her up and drag her back in.

Living in the Clearwater area, I drive right through the huge Scientology community anytime I want to go to the beach, which is hardly ever, as that could involve wearing a bathing suit which will never again happen.  Ever.  Yes, I am officially that invisible woman you see, walking down the beach in  clam diggers and a polo shirt.  Anyway, these people walk like robots, wearing blue shirts and khaki pants, and they all have HUGE key rings attached to their belts.  They are always hurrying to get somewhere, which for me right off the bat is a huge turn off as far as religion goes.  In my religion, that being the Jewish faith, we move at a slower pace.  For instance, in making a decision, we first consult our mother.  Then, we consult all of our friends, who will check with their friends and get back to us.  From there, we call our sister and get her opinion.  When our friends finally check back in, with the opinions of THEIR friends, we listen, comment and then do whatever our mother said. This could take days.

With the Cruise/Holmes thing I decided to read and find out exactly what these people are thinking.  Low and behold, I read something that makes perfect sense.  "One belief of Scientology is that a human is an immortal alien, i.e. extraterrestrial, spiritual being, termed a thetan, that is trapped on Earth in a physical body."  (Wikipedia)  I knew it!  I am trapped in this body which at age 50, cannot stop eating salty chips, and has to have a Grey Goose martini several nights a week.   Also, it requires a lot of sleep, and Rogain. 


It appears us "thetans" have many past lives and are taking part in a "Space Opera," and that before we hit Earth, we were living in extraterrestrial cultures.  I think I was skinnier there, and had way better hair. Not to worry, though, I may end up back there in my next life, so that's something to look forward to.


Anyway, I have no intention of jumping ship, or should I say jumping onto the mother ship.  I can barely keep track of my one car key, and khaki pants make my ass look fat. 



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Comments

  1. OMG too funny as always! Thetans? I watched Dr. Who with my son before he went to camp and I think Thetans may be one of aliens the Doctor encountered...I knew those Scientologists had invaded Hollywood but now other planets too...I have to contemplate that over a couple Grey Gooses...cheers!

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  2. Dear A,

    Awesome job!!

    C.

    ReplyDelete
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