Friday, June 22, 2012

Everything Old is New Again

I'm a sister wife!!  My ex has remarried.  As he said in his wedding speech, (of which a video was smuggled out of the ceremony and into my greedy hands, ) he has met the love of his life.  Hello?  Does 27 years of folded socks, dry cleaning pick up, oh- and birthing four children count for nothing these days?  Please dont tell that to this uterus that now hits the water when I sit down to pee.

Was I a perfect wife?  Sooorrrrt of.....I admit there were a few things I could have done better.  There were times when a lone, dirty black sock, would end up in the dryer with a Bounce sheet, so that there would be a pair for my unsuspecting hubby in the morning.  I am sorry there would be way more creases in his pants AFTER  I ironed them, but I gave it a try, didn't I?  There was the time when a gentleman knocked on my door and told me he would lay mulch for just 50 cents a basket.  By the time my ex came roaring home, we were at $1,020.00, with only half of the front yard done.  But who had the nicest flower bed on the street that year?  Yes indeedy, that would be me, so why hold a grudge?

People keep asking me, "How are you doing?  How are you handling it?  Honestly, when I first heard, I thought, "Wow, my husband's getting married!"  I remembered that first, very sweet moment, when at our wedding dinner, the waiter asked "What would your HUSBAND like to drink?" and the warm feeling that came over me as I glanced at him across the room and in that instant saw my life.  I saw cozy houses, babies with his blue eyes and my knobby knees, the beginning of a new family.  My family.

All those things came to pass.  There was a first cozy house then a bigger one and then an even bigger one.  The children came too, girl, boy, girl, boy.  Slowly, I began wanting more, or should I say demanding more...No more GE Profile for me, I had to have the big Sub Zero, you know the one a small family could live in?  Still have it, (trying to sell it on Craig's list if you know anyone who needs a fridge that doubles as an extra bedroom,) the husband, however is gone.

Don't get me wrong, I am very happy with my life.  I have a partner, that is truly my best friend.  I have to pony up in this relationship, and be a true partner as well.  "My husband takes care of that" no longer flies.  I have to pull my weight now, (which is getting harder and harder if you know what I mean,)  be a responsible adult, and give back as much as I get from this loving man.  I can no longer go through life yelling   LA LA LA with my fingers in my ears, knowing things will just get taken care of.

It has been a rocky road, this whole divorce thing, especially being replaced before you even knew you were being let go.  That was gut wrenching, and caused me to behave badly sometimes.  If I happened to have drunk texted you during that painful time, please erase.

However, now I am in a good place with my ex.  I wish I could tell Giselle some of the things I feel she will be facing.  I don't want her to be surprised when during a dinner party her new husband gets up, goes into the bedroom, comes out in pajamas and proceeds to watch the military channel.  Just carry on with your guests, I found that works best.  Be ready when the doorbell rings and no matter where you are in the house, he will turn to you and demand "Now who is THAT?"  Also, he gets very testy in sushi restaurants when they bring all the rolls at once.  You may want to order a few at a time....just a heads up.

Life goes on. Sometimes my son will look at me in a certain way with the right side of his mouth turned up,  and I see his dad 30 years ago.  My oldest daughter lets out a laugh that I first heard 35 years ago when I was standing at my high school locker.  Both of my middle children have his laughing blue eyes, however one is dark haired like me, the other blonde like him, a perfect mix. So in the end, it will be up to these four people, to remember and pass on, memories of a family.









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