Close the SHADES!

Fifty Shades of Grey, a novel by EL James, has wrapped a gray necktie around our necks and tightened the noose.  Join the rest of the world in reading about Anastasia, a 21 year old college student virgin, (Really?  She lost me already) as she falls in love with the dashing sicko Christian Grey, who's saving graces are that he is rich and and has severe mommy issues. Therefore, we are to forgive him his sadomasochistic ways.  Call me crazy but I don't think it's nice to gag, tie up and whip a young girl, even if your mommy was a crack whore, and I am having some trouble getting past this.

I don't mind the pornographic angle, I mean who doesn't like a little porn now and then?  You know I love the whole fireman thing, "Where's the fire?"  "Right here baby" etc...  Delightful.   But seriously, does Betty Friedan know about this?  Sorry you ladies burned all those bras and we are right back to where you started, being told what do and LOVING IT!  THANK YOU SIR MAY I HAVE ANOTHER!?

All these years of marching for equality, becoming CEO's, and marrying stay at home dads?  We even go to war now.  But hey, sure, you can tie me up and spank me, just promise to buy me something and say you love me.  Master.  Oh and by the way, do the words "domestic violence" ring a bell with anyone?

It's not even the specific acts of of torture/violence that turned me away from this book, (nor the horrendous dialogue) it is the fact that Ana submits to them mainly, to win Grey's love and save him from his troubled mind.  Her sexual pleasure is hardly a factor here.  Not only does she participate in his s and m ways, she also calls him sir, and follows his orders regarding her diet and style choices.  Blech.  Gag me with a spoon.

My latest heroine is Lisbeth Salander from "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo."  Talk about strength, courage and a great fuck you attitude.  I want to meet her, I want to talk to her, I want to BE her.  Ana?  I want to tell her to get into therapy ASAP and stay the hell away from my daughters.

Okay, yes, of course I am jealous of the success of these books.  A trilogy?  While I sit day after day trying to formulate a single  page for my one day to be novel?  And better yet, soon we will get to see these antics played out on the big screen.  The studios couldn't buy the rights fast enough!  This woman is living out MY dream.  I can't seem to get the studios interested in a divorcee who moves to New York and becomes a dog walker to the stars.  Now THAT'S entertainment.   Seriously.  Maybe if she roughs the pups up some, or makes their collars a little too tight?

Anyway, what goes on in people's bedrooms is none of  my business, but I don't mind taking an occasional peek now and then.  For the sake of women everywhere, I hope Christian and Ana keep their shades down.

Please share your thoughts!

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  1. You know, seriously, my porn needs GOOD DIALOGUE. "Jeez" must not appear anywhere between the covers. Of the bed, or the book.


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