To those of us midlife women who have taken a break from dating, otherwise known as a 25 year marriage, jumping back into the game can feel a tad overwhelming. The last time I went on a date I was wearing bell bottoms, buffalo sandals and Bonnie Bell Strawberry Lip Smackers. For my current dates I wear Spanx on my upper AND lower body, matte lipstick that will not bleed into my lip lines and always carry a pair of readers from CVS so that I can read the menu or worse yet, the bill.
While these new developments can take some getting used to, perhaps the biggest adjustment comes from dating as a mother. Sometimes it's hard to be flirty and fun, when you are receiving constant text messages from the kids such as: "did you say haley can have a cat?" "cable's out get home" "can i have my boyfriend over if he promises not to smoke in the house?" Sometimes, it can be hard to make a connection with your date if you are worrying about burn holes in your couch and your daughter's virginity.
I was out one night with a wonderful guy and we had had such a nice dinner we decided to move on to another spot for drinks. While in route, his phone rang and thanks to bluetooth technology, I was privy to the following conversation:
"Hi Daddy"(sweet lilting voice)
"Hi honey, how are you?"
"Good, I just hadn't talked to you today so I wanted to check in"
" That's so nice sweetie, how did you do on your calculus test?"
"Oh dad it was so hard.."
In the midst of this my phone rings, and I see it is my 17 year old son Jake calling. I look at my date as if to say, "I know how it is, my son likes to check in too, he is such a dear."
Here is our conversation:
"Hi Jake, how is my big boy today?"
"Hi mom, hold on...this cop wants to talk to you."
Instead of going for a nightcap, we found ourselves picking up my son at a local concert venue, after he received a lecture on substance abuse from a very nice and forgiving officer. The good news is my son learned a valuable lesson that night. The bad news?