Showing posts from September, 2011

Welcome Wagon

The one thing about my ex I have to say, is that he has always been considerate of my feelings.  I know he was only thinking of me, when he decided to move he and Giselle into a huge luxury home around the corner from me: behind a gate no less.  As if.  As if my cleaning lady's friend's friend,  doesn't know the gate code, and I won't be driving slowly by several times a day.   Please.  And how awesome is this of him?  Now I will be able to keep up with her comings and goings without even leaving the neighborhood.
     The one thing I didn't take into account was that now I couldn't really hide either.  This became apparent as I was out on my daily morning walk with Rudy, my 150 pound English mastiff.  I was wearing my usual morning walk attire, sweat shirt, pajama bottoms, Ugg slippers and baseball cap and eating a fruit roll up when she passed me in her silver BMW convertible, top down of course.  Her blonde hair was pulled into one of those really nice ti…

What's In a Name? Everything.

Here is what I did during my divorce:

1.  Wandered through the house in my Snugli eating from a box of Captain Crunch
2.  Drank a lot of wine and then sent scathing emails to my ex, which will definitely come back to haunt me if I ever run for Governor or anything.
3.  Made Carrie Underwood's Before He Cheats, my official ring tone
4.  Caused my friends to run the other way if they saw me in the grocery store.
5.  Drove my mother crazy
6.  Finally SNAPPED out of it and hired an attorney.

 I had narrowed my search down to two well known attorneys here in town,  Judith Friedson and Madison Pierce.  Judith had an A+ reputation and was known for causing grown men to cry for their mommys during mediations, but I fell instantly in love with the name Madison Pierce.  She was the girl in junior high who was rushing off to cheerleading practice while I was rushing off to the orthodontist and HomeEc club meetings.   I loved just saying the name as in "Oh yes, I am using Madison Pierce,…